Sunday, January 3, 2010

10 Albums you probably missed. (Or not.)

I understand music can be the touchiest of subjects. People are passionate about the sounds that they willingly subject their ears to, and often react to musical suggestions in much the same way Dracula would to the suggestion of a suntan. If you are uneasy about exposing your fragile auditory receptors to possible trauma, read no further. Compiled here are the 10 albums (for 2010!) that I think are most overlooked, or bypassed entirely.

Please, don’t crucify me for making the effort, my intentions are wholesome. Or not.

#10 - Ric Ocasek, Troublizing (1997 Columbia)

The Cars are easily one of the greatest bands of the late 70’s to early 80’s New Wave Era, remaining AWESOME even after the glam of fancy shoulder-suits, and neon knickers was washed away by reality – aka emergency cocaine rehab. The Cars success was due in part to their Singer/Rhythm Guitarist Ric Ocasek. This particular solo venture of Ric’s is by far the best, borrowing the talents of Billy Corgan, Melissa Auf du Maur, and Brian Baker. Troublizing rides the pop line hard, but not in a bad way. “The Next Right Moment” is perhaps too catchy, remaining stuck in your head for weeks afterward. Can I stress any further how awesome this is?

#9 - Ours, Distorted Lullabies (2001 SKG)

Jimmy Gnecco can do no wrong. If he were to drive over 20 old nuns with a school bus, the act would immediately be declared a new national pastime. This may or may not be a good thing when coupled with the fact that he is quite creepy. Given that his best friend was Jeff Buckley, and he actually spends time with Steve Lillywhite, this man’s life is off-putting to say the least, like some sort of Bizzaro Jesus with a penchant for forlorn screaming. Weirdness aside, he writes some damn fine music. Moody, scary, and strange, but damn fine nevertheless.

#8 - KoRN, Unplugged (2007 MTV/Virgin)

This looks totally out of place doesn’t it? Hear me out, there are diehard, Jonathan Davis fanfic writing, posters/stickers KoRN fans that have no clue this exists. I have on several occasions, broken the very soul of these unfortunates. Perhaps it’s the ability of any Unplugged album other than Nirvana, or Clapton, to slide under the radar. Nevertheless, KoRN con Acoustic is a tasty plate indeed. Radiohead covers, Robert Smilth duets, Spanish interludes, and Japanese Taiko drums round out the regular KoRN musical fare. So if you’re a KoRN fan, and just now hearing about this, please; don’t start running for the sleeping pills or razorblades.

#7 - Laura Veirs, Year of Meteors (2005 Nonesuch)

Eek! A LADY! Yes, not all of my music has testicles. Well, I can only assume that Miss Veirs isn’t packing a satchel of plums. She is however slinging some ‘nads of a musical nature. The clean yet weighty guitars on “Galaxies” kill me every time. Laura’s vocals are the exact tincture for whatever soul malaise you happen to be experiencing at any time. Yes my fellow dudes, it would be momentarily permissible to slow-dance with your Gal Friday to a Laura Veirs song. Just as long as you listen to Judas Priest immediately afterward.

#6 - The Ditty Bops, ‘Self Titled’ (2004 Warner Bros.)

How the hell am I supposed to describe these gals? Folky-Ameriofusion? Early Ragtimejazz? Plunkadunkadumplins? Like, a lot. I have no musical heritage or background in my library to base any sort of criticism of the ‘Bops on. Either way, Abby DeWald, and Amanda Barrett seriously make my tap my feet. So much so, that I fear for the structure of my flooring. When they’re not playing with Bob Dylan, covering songs from 1919, or getting married, the DBs are fighting hunger, or bicycling for energy conservation. Surely to accomplish this all, they have mastered time travel as well. You shrewd dames…

#5 ½ - Liza Minnelli, I Peed on the Floor and Fell into it. Again. (2010 Bullcrap Records)

Not only does this album not exist, if it did, it would suck. Just like everything else this vulture does.

#5 - Desert Sessions 9, I See You Hearin Me. (2003 Ipecac)

If you are unaware of Desert Sessions by now, you are dumb. Because even deaf people have the 411 on this shit. In a nutshell, QotSA frontman Josh Homme drags a bunch of his musician buddies out to the Rancho de la Luna in Joshua Tree, CA to improv the most badass set of tracks to have ever been recorded onto a CD. Seriously! They just show up and start making up songs on the spot, and fling ‘em onto disc RIGHT THERE! I kid you not. Dean Ween and Alain Johannes wrote “Creosote” on the front porch of the place within 4 MINUTES OF MEETING EACH OTHER! There are more legendary stories of sex, drugs, and rock associated with the ‘Sessions than any other musical collaboration, EVER. The best part: there are 10 volumes of the Desert Sessions! Josh and friends have been doing this since 1997. I chose vol. 9 because if “I Wanna Make it Wit Chu” doesn’t hook you, nothing short of meth will.

#4 - Miho Hatori, Ecdydis (2005 Rykodisc)

This is one of those albums that everyone knows a song or two, but NO ONE knows the artist or album. Both the singing voice of Noodle on Gorillaz debut, and one-half of the awesome that it Cibo Matto, Miho has already paid her musical dues in spades. In fact, nowadays, we owe her. If you remain unconvinced that this is a must have, youtube up the video for “Barracuda”. Besides, if a chick is into bugs, mean fish, and the karmic physics of the universe, you don’t question things. You just buy her albums.

#3 - Rivers Cuomo, Alone & Alone II ‘The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo (2007/2008 Geffen)

It’s been said that prior, and during his albums with Weezer, their frontman Rivers has recorded nearly 800 tracks. That statement alone makes him not only a one-man musical army, but worthy of a double entry here as well. His wiki entry states that he had over 100 stock songs going into the recording of Weezer’s “Make Believe” alone. Imagine if for every album you recorded, you had to write 100 songs, and only keep the best 12 or so. The worldwide quality of music would increase exponentially. Lesser musicians would die from exhaustion, and only the truly devoted would remain. In such a kingdom, Mr. Cuomo would hold a post something akin to Pope. Between the two albums there are 37 tracks, I shudder to think how other tracks lie on the cutting room floor, post-edit.

#2 - James Kochalka Superstar, Spread Your Evil Wings and Fly (2006 Rykodisc)

If Jimmy Gnecco is Jesus, and Rivers Cuomo is the Pope, sometime Writer, Teacher, Cartoonist, and Rocker James Kochalka would be the acting State Televangelist of Rockland. The man keeps his cult following placated with not only a 9 album library, but daily updates to his legendary comic. (americanelf.com) To see him live is to love him completely, to read his works will make you hate yourself for not discovering him earlier in your life. Spread… is such a wonderful unknown that Rolling Stone Magazine named “Britney’s Silver Can” one of the 100 best songs of 2006, not to mention his “Hockey Monkey” (co written with the Zambonis) became the theme song for The Loop. I’ll forgive you if you never saw it. But that is the ONLY Kolchalka infraction I’ll look the other way on.

#1 - PJ Harvey, Is This Desire? (1998 Island)

I love Polly Jean in a fashion that is borderline religion. She holds such a pure spot in my psyche, that I refuse to think ‘unclean’ thoughts about her for fear of tainting Our Lady of The Kick-Ass Rockblues with the other horrible crap in my head. Needless to say, I’m a huge fan. And though there are millions that have discovered PJ’s songs, very few of them actually have this album. Seriously, it’s like me, the tech that pressed the discs in the first place, and some weird cave-dwelling hermit in Cambodia. Check your friends; If one of them has it, they are a rare (perhaps too rare) individual indeed. Trust me though; this badboy (badgirl?) is worth paying a wee bit more for on the online auction site of your choice. In a turn I can only describe as Reznorian, Polly Jean churns out some very atmospheric and slightly disturbing tunes. In this case, it’s good to be disturbed. Very good. “Catherine” nearly brings me to my knees every time I hear it. I’m not alone in my love for …Desire? To this very day Harvey herself claims it is her best recording.

Well, there you have it, if I haven’t bored you to death, then maybe you’ve taken something of value from this. Perhaps you will go on to write your own list, that others will inadvertently bitch about. Funny how no two people care about the same thing.

Except music that is.

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